Even love can seem ugly sometimes.
Even something you love.
I feel two contradictory powers inside me.
The one is fighting for, the other is fighting against.
I don’t know with what yet.
And when these powers can finally be quiet
and sit down like old friends that don’t need all that chattering to show off their strengths,
I can make peace.
I can be all that I want without this needless show.
I can gather all my power without breaking down in every mile of the go.
I can smile genuinely, look myself in the mirror and say
yes, this is what I want.
I can look all the tiny little details that seem to leave others uninterested
and take hold of them for they are what they are
without trying to be something more.

It’s funny how things always seem more real when you have to try for…